just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
