I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
