I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
