God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Girls should come with a carfax report
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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