I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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