So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I need a beard to bite.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
