I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We left the knife in your bed.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
