WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
