all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You left your phone here
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