Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
