I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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