my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
