I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
