Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
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