come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
