This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
