wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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