It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
