Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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