STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
