Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
