Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
