Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
But theres a keg here and me gusta
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
