Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
