i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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