so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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