..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
