i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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