the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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