k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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