the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
