I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
