When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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