is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
