he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
