i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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