3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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