i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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