I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
