You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
