I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
