It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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