Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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