not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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