I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
