I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
