please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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