it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
