I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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