is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
